Gaunts Ghosts First And Only Pdf 11
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Nor were these my only visions. The raising of ghosts or devils was a promiseliberally accorded by my favourite authors, the fulfilment of which I mosteagerly sought; and if my incantations were always unsuccessful, I attributedthe failure rather to my own inexperience and mistake than to a want of skillor fidelity in my instructors. And thus for a time I was occupied by explodedsystems, mingling, like an unadept, a thousand contradictory theories andfloundering desperately in a very slough of multifarious knowledge, guided byan ardent imagination and childish reasoning, till an accident again changedthe current of my ideas.
The astonishment which I had at first experienced on this discovery soon gaveplace to delight and rapture. After so much time spent in painful labour, toarrive at once at the summit of my desires was the most gratifying consummationof my toils. But this discovery was so great and overwhelming that all thesteps by which I had been progressively led to it were obliterated, and Ibeheld only the result. What had been the study and desire of the wisest mensince the creation of the world was now within my grasp. Not that, like a magicscene, it all opened upon me at once: the information I had obtained was of anature rather to direct my endeavours so soon as I should point them towardsthe object of my search than to exhibit that object already accomplished. I waslike the Arabian who had been buried with the dead and found a passage to life,aided only by one glimmering and seemingly ineffectual light.
We ascended into my room, and the servant presently brought breakfast; but Iwas unable to contain myself. It was not joy only that possessed me; I felt myflesh tingle with excess of sensitiveness, and my pulse beat rapidly. I wasunable to remain for a single instant in the same place; I jumped over thechairs, clapped my hands, and laughed aloud. Clerval at first attributed myunusual spirits to joy on his arrival, but when he observed me moreattentively, he saw a wildness in my eyes for which he could not account, andmy loud, unrestrained, heartless laughter frightened and astonished him.
One of my first duties on my recovery was to introduce Clerval to the severalprofessors of the university. In doing this, I underwent a kind of rough usage,ill befitting the wounds that my mind had sustained. Ever since the fatalnight, the end of my labours, and the beginning of my misfortunes, I hadconceived a violent antipathy even to the name of natural philosophy. When Iwas otherwise quite restored to health, the sight of a chemical instrumentwould renew all the agony of my nervous symptoms. Henry saw this, and hadremoved all my apparatus from my view. He had also changed my apartment; for heperceived that I had acquired a dislike for the room which had previously beenmy laboratory. But these cares of Clerval were made of no avail when I visitedthe professors. M. Waldman inflicted torture when he praised, with kindness andwarmth, the astonishing progress I had made in the sciences. He soon perceivedthat I disliked the subject; but not guessing the real cause, he attributed myfeelings to modesty, and changed the subject from my improvement, to thescience itself, with a desire, as I evidently saw, of drawing me out. Whatcould I do He meant to please, and he tormented me. I felt as if he had placedcarefully, one by one, in my view those instruments which were to be afterwardsused in putting me to a slow and cruel death. I writhed under his words, yetdared not exhibit the pain I felt. Clerval, whose eyes and feelings were alwaysquick in discerning the sensations of others, declined the subject, alleging,in excuse, his total ignorance; and the conversation took a more general turn.I thanked my friend from my heart, but I did not speak. I saw plainly that hewas surprised, but he never attempted to draw my secret from me; and although Iloved him with a mixture of affection and reverence that knew no bounds, yet Icould never persua